HOPE.

AMANDA CHURCHILL

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JAN 30

busy busy.

new blogsite.  new blog.  new images.  just in time.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm so easily distracted with the amazingness out there.  And I'm constantly comparing myself - hard on my work and my art - until the point that I don't even try.  So I'm practicing right now...  being me.  And being proud of what I've accomplished.

It will take some work.  So thank you - in advance - for allowing me the time to busy myself with authenticity.  And taking care of my family.  We have a lot of making up to do.  

Eventually I'd love to get to a place where we are writing here, regularly.  Shooting personal adventures, as well as professional.  And sharing our story as often as we can.  

Til then...

P.S.  Isn't my husband wonderful?  So thankful that he is always able to capture his love for me in such a tangible way.  And so thankful that I am blessed to work with someone who shares my same passion for imagery as a gift.  xoxo.

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JAN 20

HOPE.

for 2012 - my new word is HOPE.  

It has to be.

2011 was - in every capacity - the most difficult year of my life.  It started in January and knocked the breath out of me completely.  It was a daily struggle with battles so big that you can't even imagine.  It was a struggle - just to be - from day to day.  The kind of struggle that you know, in a very surreal way, that when it's over - you'll be different.  Stronger.  And more.  The slow motion kind of recovery that leaves you in a glass bubble for the world to see every piece of your transformation.  The kind of path that separates - everything.  Those who love you from those who don't;  the treasure from the excess; the needs from the wants; and most painfully - reality from your memories.  If I told you the details you would think I was lying.  But it was continuous.  Without ceasing.  A true test of my human capacity.  I couldn't write it.  That would make it all real.  I couldn't talk about it.  I couldn't escape it.  My ability to process something new every single day became ALL I could do.  Every choice I made was so very difficult and had so many reprecussions - each it's own sacrifice. It was a year of trauma - death, loss, heartache.  We bearly made it.  Homeschooling had to include lessons on death, strokes, heart attacks, balloon pumps and ventilators; living in 2 states, eating whatever we could find, working hard - and still not having enough;divorce, responsibility, drugs and suicide.  They know more than I care to tell you.  They are changed, too.

It wasn't until recently that I was strong enough to break out of that bubble and start making choices without the chains.  I don't know if I'm really stronger yet - but I'm aching to find out.  

What I've learned over the past year is a very shocking truth...  we aren't the only ones.  There are so many families struggling.  So many families that are suffering.  So many families who don't have enough. You wouldn't know it by looking, but they're just like us - and as their hearts are breaking wide open from one battle or another, they don't know how in the world they will be able to buy enough groceries this week.  Take care of each other, sweet friends.  Take care of your communities.  Do here, right in your own cities - what you would do for the people in need in other countries.  Share your knowledge, lend a hand, share a meal.  Just be present.  Give them HOPE.  I don't know what we would've done without those of you who merely just stayed in our lives when things got tough, who brought groceries, or had us over for dinner & distraction...  you've blessed us and honored us.  Thank you, with all our hearts.

So here we are, with humble hearts - being present and accounted for.  Asking you to celebrate with us - a bright new year.  A new start.  An alternate path to the one we just travelled...  A gift from a loving God, made possible by the ultimate sacrifice.  A year of grace, and blessings, and HOPE.  If you see us this year - we're determined to share that with you.  To be a channel, and a tool, and a mirror.  To give you HOPE.

much love,

amanda + james.